Last time I told you that I would post about the pitch that spurred my last post — what went well (and what didn’t).
As mentioned, I got an e-mail from Lucas Dressel, an account supervisor for Desautel-Hege Communications, a PR firm in Spokane, Washington.
Here is what Lucas e-mailed me:
From: Lucas Dressel
Subj: US Army Web site’s new interactive technology
The U.S. Army has begun using a new technology from software company Next IT on its Web site GoArmy.com. NextIT’s ActiveAgent technology, in the form of “SGT STAR” on the Army’s Web site, represents a completely new way for humans to interact with technology. Able to recognize natural language input and employing intelligent directive questioning, SGT STAR acts as a virtual expert, helping the Army’s Web site users find information faster and more effectively than before.
- Avg. site session on goarmy.com with SGT STAR is 16 minutes, up from four minutes without
- Nearly 500,000 questions answered since August
- 92 percent accuracy
Please take a look at the attached press release for more information on SGT STAR’s initial success and the technology behind it. For more information and to set up an interview with leaders from Next IT or technology analyst Sue Feldman of IDC, please contact [account executive one] or [account executive two] at [e-mail one], [e-mail two] or [phone number].
Thanks for taking a look.
So lets start with what Lucas did well:
- He decided to contact bloggers. Deciding to engage is always a good thing.
- He provided bulleted key facts to make it easy for me to see what they essential points were.
- He was polite.
Here is what didn’t work about the pitch:
- His hook is wrong. It isn’t new technology; I wrote about it five months ago.
- He didn’t start by introducing himself. You can’t send one-off pitches to milbloggers like you would journalists. Because I guarantee that hardly any (if any at all) are journalists.
- He didn’t show any inkling that he knew what my blog was or why I would be interested in SGT STAR or note that I had written about it before for that matter. To Lucas’ credit, I wrote about this one at another domain, so it would have been harder to find. I’ll cut him slack on this one.
- He had attachments. Always, always send embedded links to bloggers. It makes things easier for them to blog if you have links anyhow.
- Who is Sue Feldman, and where did she come from?
- It isn’t new technology. (Did I mention that already?)
I wrote a post based off of Lucas’ pitch anyhow, so I guess that counts for something. But as a take-away, here are some tips for pitching milbloggers:
– Show some knowledge of or appreciation for the military in your pitch
– Link, link, link! Milbloggers will likely use links if you give some to them
– Make sure you have real news and
– Know a little bit about who you are pitching before you pitch them